I am having the hardest time with this blog because it is so hard to put all my feelings into words. I hope as you have read thus far that you feel at least a fraction of what I have felt. I have been able to be at home, off work, with Gavin for 6 weeks now and I'm loving every minute of it! When I look at Gavin, tears still come to my eyes! The bonding experience with him has been gradual but strong. Some days it feels like I'm holding my heart in my arms, like he couldn't be more a part of me than if I'd delivered him myself and other days it seems strange that he is really mine. I love him more than I can say. My heart melts everytime he looks for me when he hears my voice. The other day he had an upset stomach and no matter what Jason did, he cried. I finally took him to see if I could help and he stopped crying immediately. Jason said that he just wanted his mommy when he wasn't feeling good. I can't tell you how much that meant to me because I have wanted it for so long. Tears sprang to my eyes because I was overwhelmed with the confirmation that I was his mommy.
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